Today, something personal. I’ll tell you about a pattern I catch myself in more often than I’d like. It’s FOMO – fear of missing out.
It doesn’t always look like the anxious “What if I was invited?”
Sometimes, it shows up differently:
– You take on a new project, even though your calendar is full
– You save webinars and articles you’ll probably never open
– You scroll through job ads, even if you’re not looking to change jobs
– You’re afraid to miss something “important” – but can’t even tell if it’s important to you
From the outside, it can look like curiosity, ambition, hunger for growth. But often, there’s anxiety hiding underneath. And that familiar confusion: what, out of all this, is actually mine?
I notice FOMO in myself when:
– I squeeze someone into my schedule for a counselling, even though the day is already packed – “what if they can’t wait a week?”
– I say yes to a new client with an exciting project – “what if this is the last interesting one for a while?”
– On vacation, I try to see everything in the city – “what if I never come back here?”
– I burn in the sun again – “well, there’s no sun back home anyway”
– Courses, courses, more courses. I’ve always got something “useful” playing in my headphones – because there’s always more to learn. Except, sometimes, what I really need is a pause.
There are so many of these little moments. And once I started noticing them – I also started giving myself more space before making decisions. It really helps.
FOMO might seem harmless. But it’s not.
It kills focus. It tricks you into thinking that if you’re everywhere – you’re growing, staying relevant. But in reality, you’re just exhausted. Because your attention is always somewhere else. It’s hard to be present.
– You’re in your head, thinking about what you could be doing. Or about how someone else is doing it better, faster, more impressively.
– You say yes to things that aren’t really yours – projects, meetings, opportunities – just in case. You think, “Why not?”, “It might come in handy.” And then end up feeling drained and hollow.
– You don’t truly rest, even on your day off. Because somewhere, something is happening without you. And that “something” always feels more important than what you’ve chosen.
– You compare yourself to others. Even when you know it makes no sense.
You feel like you’re falling behind. Like your reality is somehow… not enough. (That’s exactly why I don’t try to paint a perfect picture on this blog – I never want anyone comparing their real life to my carefully curated version.)
In work, FOMO can be especially dangerous
It might wear the mask of “I want to grow”. But really, it’s fear that you’ll miss the opportunity. So you take on too much. Say yes to everything – “what if this is it?” You don’t choose, you’re being dragged. You stay busy – not fulfilled. You’re doing a lot – but the progress is not sufficient.
How do you know it’s FOMO?
– You can’t fully relax, even on a weekend
– Making choices is hard – saying a “no” feels risky
– You often compare yourself to others
– Your tiredness isn’t from doing too much – it’s from being scattered
– You always feel like something’s missing
What helps (me and my clients):
What to do?
– Asking: do I really want this? Or am I afraid to miss out?
– Slowing down, even just a little. The world won’t leave without you.
– Coming back to your “why” and your goals.
– Learning to say “no” – even to exciting things
– Trusting that what’s truly yours will wait for you
And most importantly:
Not everything that’s possible is necessary. Not everything that looks interesting belongs to you. And not everything you miss is actually a loss. You’re not missing out, you’re starting to choose. That’s a grown-up move, and another step toward inner clarity and strength.