Working with SME companies in Estonia and abroad, I keep seeing the same paradox: everyone knows that regular 1:1s with team members are important. Everyone’s read about it. Everyone nods, and still doesn’t do it.
In big companies, 1:1s have long been part of the system – they’re planned, prepared for, reviewed. In small businesses, they’re still rare, almost exotic. Why?
The proximity trap
“Why do we need a meeting if we’re around each other all day anyway?” – that’s the line I hear most from founders and managers of small teams, and on the surface, it makes sense. In a team of 10–15 people, you see everyone daily. You can always walk over and ask a question.
But here’s the trap: being physically close creates the illusion of connection. You chat about tasks, say hi, check in quickly. It feels like you’re in the loop, but you’re only seeing the surface. Big-picture topics – goals, frustration, burnout, improvement ideas – don’t come up in between Slack pings or at the coffee machine.
The remote work paradox
When teams went remote, the situation didn’t improve. It got worse, just in a different way.
In the office, there was the illusion of proximity (“we’re around each other”). Online, it became the illusion of communication (“we’re always on Slack”). Standups, quick calls, task updates – it feels like there’s constant contact. But again – it’s all operational.
You don’t see the shift in energy. You don’t notice someone going quiet, replying slower, zoning out. Remote work strips away the subtle signals.
And those spontaneous little hallway chats? Gone. Now after Zoom, everyone just clicks “Leave meeting” –
and that’s it.
When your team is spread across countries
Then there’s the added complexity of hybrid or distributed teams. Part of the team is in Tallinn, some in Riga, someone else is working from Lisbon. Suddenly you’re juggling time zones, different office rhythms and different cultural expectations
And often, managers naturally stay closer to those who sit next to them. The rest? They deliver work, report results… but stay out of the informal loops.
Without structured 1:1s, remote employees start to disappear. No one’s asking how they’re doing, what’s on their mind, or where they want to grow. It’s no surprise that remote team members are often the first ones to quietly start job hunting.
In distributed teams, regular 1:1s aren’t “nice to have”. They’re how you ensure people have equal access to your attention – no matter their location. When everyone has fixed time with the manager, no matter where they sit, is it office in Tallinn or home office in Barcelona – attention is shared equally.
The Scarlett O’Hara syndrome
Managers in small businesses really do have less time. The pace is faster than in most corporations. They’re wearing five hats, putting out fires, juggling client work. So what happens? “I’ll think about that tomorrow.”
And tomorrow becomes next week. And next week… the tension has escalated into a full-blown crisis that could’ve been prevented.
The issue isn’t time. It’s that there’s no culture of intentional management – where working with people is seen as part of the job, not a bonus task.
What you lose when you skip 1:1s
Real feedback
That quick chat in the hallway doesn’t replace a focused conversation about goals, growth, and what really matters to your employee.
Without dedicated space for it, you’re guessing.
Early warning signs
On the outside, everything looks fine. Projects are moving. People show up. But under the surface, frustration and fatigue are building. And no one’s saying anything – because there’s no right moment to say it.
Regular 1:1s create a safe space where you can us uncomfortable questions before they grow into a crisis. It’s like visiting your doctor on time – better to discover the problem on an early stage, than cure a serious disease.
Leadership skills
The ability to run meaningful, structured conversations doesn’t just appear one day. It takes practice. 1:1s are where you develop that muscle.
Managers learn to ask right questions, listen, give a proper feedback, notice patterns. Without this, they stay in reactive mode.
What’s stopping small businesses from doing it?
Lack of basic management structure
In many small companies, management is instinct-based. Time with your team only happens if there’s time left.
This is not done one purpose, it´s just lack of the systematic approach. First step towards the change would be to admit that working with people is same important for team leader as sales or finance.
Fear of becoming “too corporate”
“I don’t want us to become rigid or formal.” That fear is real.
But structure doesn’t kill spontaneity – it protects it. A 1:1 gives people guaranteed space to speak up without waiting for the “right moment”.
No clue what the format should be
Sometimes teams try 1:1s… and they turn into boring status updates. “How’s the project? What’s done? Any blockers?”
That’s not a 1:1.
A real one-on-one is about the person – their energy, challenges, ideas, motivation. It needs structure. And trust.
The cost of silence
If you’re not hearing your people regularly, you’ll hear them when they resign. Or when the issues explode.
Quitting rarely happens overnight. There were signals, you just weren’t listening.
Same with team conflict, process breakdowns, or unclear direction. All of it could’ve surfaced earlier – in the right conversation.
How to start: simpler than you think
Good news: you don’t need complex systems or hours of training to start doing 1:1s. You can begin with the basics – 30 minutes every two weeks with each direct report.
Ask 3 simple questions:
- How are you really doing?
- What’s getting in your way right now?
- How can I support you?
It’s not magic. But it’s a starting point. And within a few months you’ll feel the shift: more openness, more trust, fewer surprises.
One small step
Sometimes a single small change can create a big shift. 1:1s can be that shift.
If you’re a manager – try it out. Block time and have the first one. It doesn’t have to be perfect – just honest and consistent.
If you’re an employee and your company doesn’t do 1:1s – suggest it. Send your manager this post. Explain why it benefits both of you, and see what happens.
Because management isn’t just about goals and numbers. It’s about people, and people need to be heard.